Blog Babble

Happiness is such a weird thing to chat about with people.  It seems people aren’t really interested discussing the positive.  At the very least, it is not a popular topic of social chit chat in my experience.  Being miserable, angry, or complaining seem to be more acceptable topics to bond with other people over.  Talking about how happy you are and all the things that bring you joy and gratitude seems like an uncouth brag in today’s climate. 

I find it really draining to be constantly bombarded with people so focused on amplifying their misery.  Sometimes it can feel like I’m being less then empathetic.  I learned over time that I can’t fix someone else’s unhappiness.  I’m a practical person.  I like solutions.  Newsflash:  people who come to you to complain don’t really want you to offer up solutions…they mostly just want to be heard.  Venting is something I get.  But venting is usually a quick flare up and you get it out there and then you move on.  What I find frustrating is when they don’t want solutions and they also don’t want to move on.  I think most of human nature works off some type of risk-reward-punishment agenda.  I try to understand the reward of keeping yourself mired in that pit of misery and wanting everyone to jump in with you.  But I can’t figure out the legitimate reward in that, so I struggle with dealing with people like that sometimes.   

I don’t people well and part of that is I’m an introvert and another part is I don’t seem to get off on the same social chit chat that everyone else seems to enjoy.  (Ok those are only two of a long list of reasons I don’t people well but we don’t have space for the exhaustive list)  I find the constant litany of complaints and apathy and enthusiastic negativity like this constant force trying to drag me into the misery pit.  I don’t want to take that dive.  So, selfishly, I close myself off from those experiences.  But I think it is ok to be selfish sometimes if the other avenue is not a healthy one. 

Not sure where I’m going with this—maybe I wanted to write today about that feeling of having a handle on things you felt out of your control for a long time and how amazing that feeling is—but then I worried that was not ok to really talk about how happy you are because what about everyone who isn’t?  Would it come off as insensitive to focus on positive thing when there seems to be so much wrong going on around us today? 

It is a struggle for me to even write about this because I alternate between feeling somewhat guilty for my happiness in the face of others appearing to be so steeped in unhappiness…and then there is this weird superstitious feeling like I could jinx myself by speaking it out loud.  There is a sense that you are rubbing your happiness in someone’s face if they can’t seem to experience their own.  Or that deep worry that happiness is fragile and should be kept private.  The guilt of happiness—it is a real thing! 

I saved this Instagram quote the other day from Emily Fletcher, “How long are you willing to wait until you give yourself permission to be happy?”  I think it says a lot about how difficult it is to accept something so simple as happiness.  It doesn’t take much more then looking at the cute face of a puppy to make us smile.  Receiving a funny gif by text can make us laugh out loud.  Hearing the sounds of nature invokes that tranquility of happiness.  Smelling that yummy autumn cinnamon and apple scent is like a warm hug.  Yet, happiness seems to be this elusive thing.  Something out of reach.  Maybe we over-complicate it.  Maybe happiness really is as simple as making that choice.  The simpler we make things the easier it is to find the happiness in that simplicity.  Maybe it is a choice we make to be happy? 

It couldn’t hurt to take that feeling for a test drive if you are feeling that drag to the pit coming at you today.  Find that puppy.  Laugh about something silly.  Go outside and be present.  Smell those autumn scents.  Choose happiness today!