Rolling 600 titanium needles across your face…good idea…or nah…asking for a friend…
It was a rainy Labor Day here yesterday. It seemed like a good time to indulge in some lazy chill time and pampering. For the record, I think there isn’t ever a bad time for lazy chill and pampering. My sister, Betty, likes to say I’m part of the all-about-me generation. I think she means it as an insult. But since that moniker is usually reserved for those 20 somethings, my 48-year-old self takes it as a compliment on my youthful-outlook on life. I’m good at spinning reality in my favor like that—plus it drives my family crazy which is an added benefit. Everyone agrees it is important to fit in some me-time in your day. My advice is work your day in around as much me-time as you can get in there. Balance is important but tipping that scale in your favor is my philosophy. Me-time should be a guilt free zone. Ignore anyone trying to tell you differently. Ignoring people’s opinions is also a finely-honed skill I’m developing. So, with all that in mind, I happily indulged in some facial treatments.
Part of my wellness lifestyle overhaul was eliminating most of the “beauty products” I’d used for years. Too many chemicals and unidentifiable ingredients that may have been doing more harm then good in the long term. I keep it simple, just some natural oils and essential oils on my face. This past month I decided to branch out a bit and try some new products from a company focused on natural and organic ingredients directly from the earth and not synthesized chemicals. I first learned about this company after hearing the founder’s story on several podcasts within the wellness space. A person I follow, who is always on the cutting edge of science and bio-hacking, was using a mask system developed by this company and I was intrigued to give it a try.
I purchased their mask package, which included the clay mask, a serum, and a derma roller. Always a little cautious about new topical product applications, I eased my way in with the serum first. Having only used pure oils on my face for over a year, I was pleasantly surprised by how my skin responded to this new serum. It worked as the only moisturizer I needed, and my skin seemed to respond without incident. The following week I tried the mask. The mask is a powder you mix with water, or if you’re brave apple cider vinegar, to form a paste. I am not brave, so I did the wimpy water version. Ok, this stuff stinks after adding the water and applying. Not sure how best to describe the smell—maybe eau de muddy dead fish. I grew up by the Long Island sound and anyone who experienced low tide is familiar with that pungent wet dead sea refuse smell. I admit anytime I smell low tide it invokes nostalgic memories of my youth. But when it is smeared all over your face it takes on an entirely different burden. It doesn’t translate into hazy nostalgia when its not accompanied by a pretty shoreline and view. It is just unrelenting muddy fishy muck. Your nose is right there trapped on your face under this tightening mask of green stinky earth. There is nowhere to escape or get relief from that smell while you wait for it to dry into this tight facial prison of hardened clay. Despite the less then pleasant stroll through my childhood memories, this mask is friggin’ amazing! Left my skin feeling energized and so soft after rinsing off and applying the serum. The next morning my skin looked and felt even better. I was all in on this whole mask situation. But there was still one part I needed to add in—the derma roller.
Side Note: Now is probably a good time to mention the person, who used the system on his Instagram story, is into some intense bio-hacking and treatments. This is a guy who, in the interest of science and writing a good article, had stem cells injected in his penis to report on the effectiveness. This should have given me a heads up to proceed with caution in trying out anything he gleefully reported using. He may have even mentioned enjoying torturing himself in that story.
I used the mask and serum weekly for the first month until deciding it was time to woman-up and take on the derma roller. For anyone unfamiliar with what a derma roller is let me provide a visual for you: It is 600 titanium microneedles set on a rolling cylinder at the end of a handle. You roll these needles repeatedly over your face in multi-directions causing micro puncture wounds to produce acute inflammation to the skin. Apparently, the magic happens when the body goes into repair mode stimulating collagen production and IGF-1 to promote healing and regeneration of the skin cells. It is touted as a “near-painless”treatment. I wonder how they arrived at their definition of near-painless? My husband ordered it for me and randomly decided starting with the intermediate level .5mm needles was the smart choice. Ummm…did they not have a pre-beginner level?! He is not a cautious man like his wife. I’m not sure what part of beginner, or never used a derma roller before, he equated with intermediate level. Perhaps there was a Canadian to American translation issue in the description. He would probably just tell me intermediate is Canadian for beginner. I tend to go with it being a result of his passive-aggressive retaliation methods. Sigh…his evil ways are for another post…back to sticking myself repeatedly with 600 titanium needles in the name of pampering beauty treatment…
I consider myself to possess a higher than average pain tolerance. I don’t even use painkillers after surgeries. I got a tattoo and when anyone asks, I tell them I barely felt it. Important to note, I got the tattoo during my college years almost two decades ago and my lack of sobriety during those years might have influenced those recollections. I figured easy peasy, thousands of needle punctures to my face—how bad could this near-painless thingy really hurt? Surprisingly…very little it turns out. I covered my entire face, keeping in mind the multi-directional instructions. It wasn’t unpleasant at all. When I finished my rolling, I was left with a mild redness and an awareness of my skin but no noticeable pain. Yay!
Side Note: I did ignore the recommendation to use apple cider vinegar as a pre and post step. When I said it was time to woman-up I was thinking more along the lines of a very delicate, verging on wimpy, woman. I decided apple cider vinegar was something I needed to work towards. It sounded very…stingy. Plus, I only have the apple cider vinegar with the mother. I’m always confused when people recommend using apple cider vinegar for topical application. Do they mean with or without the mother? If you don’t know what mother is, I view it as ucky debris in the vinegar. Not sure I want said “ucky debris” on my face. Apple cider vinegar inclusion is more advanced level tactic in my world view. This beginner isn’t ready for pouring acidic substances on her thousands of micro pin puncture wounds she self-inflicted on her face. I went straight to the next step which was the sea sewage mask of childhood nostalgia.
First thought upon starting to smear the army green paste to my face was wow this stuff stinks. Second thought…ouch!!!! Apparently, mud applied to puncture wounds stings. Who knew? Despite the putrid smell and the burning sting, I persevered in my quest—I’m a trooper like that. I sat quietly as the stingy wet goop dried to a stingy dry tight face prison. I also took the opportunity to send my sister and brother photos of myself in all my green goop glory…I’m a glutton for familial mocking.
I know…it’s a look. Army green really brings out the blue in my eyes, right? This stuff is sort of messy, so I jump in the shower to wash it off. Figured I would combine it with some cold shower therapy. Looking forward to the cold part because my face was feeling the burn. Well…I was looking forward to it till I got to the whole cold-water part. Then my usual shower squealing commenced. To be accurate it is more like sing-squealing because I was singing along to the new Taylor Swift album, Lover, while showering. I think the angsty hard rock playlist I usually choose would have better suited this torture, but I’m currently obsessed with Taylor’s new album. After the cold water blast the sting wasn’t too bad…at first. As I patted my face dry the sting returned but not horrible. Maybe I was growing immune to the sting at this point. My face was a bit red too. I applied the last step of serum and things seemed like they would turn out ok. My skin, albeit rosy, looked good. I finished up my pampering for the night and sat down to read and relax.
It started creeping up slowly. Then more intense. I turned to my husband and asked if my face was doing anything concerning. I didn’t want to look myself in case it was bad. He was like nope looks great…less red then before too. Hmmm…this didn’t agree with the flames I could feel shooting out of my face at this point. I asked him to look again…for the flames. He ignored me. Or at least I think he ignored me because I was consumed by the fact my face was probably bubbling and melting off in the flames. Turns out he was right, there were no visible flames and no blisters just smooth slightly rosy skin. The face-on-fire feeling kept up all night and I just kept ignoring it thinking it would calm down eventually. Went to bed and…yup…still stinging. It felt like having a bad sunburn. I didn’t think it was going to ease up anytime soon. Sleep came slowly—my continuous whining about my face of flames may have contributed to this. But if I wasn’t sleeping, I figured it was a husband’s duty to share in his wife’s misery. Of course, he put the blame on my aggressive rolling technique. Yeah…because 600 pins poking your face…repeatedly…should be a gentle process (insert wifey eye-roll here).
I noticed the pain stopped after my third middle-of-the-night bathroom break because…*sigh*…face-on-fire situation, remember? I chugged water all night in some weird remedy concept of putting out the flames internally. Didn’t say it was rational problem solving, but it seemed like the thing to do at the time. If anyone finds themselves in this situation, I would like to point out that in fact you can not cure burning stingy skin this way. Over consumption of water and sleeping soundly are not a good combination. If you made it this far you’ve now gained some useful information: Drinking vast quantities of water results in numerous late-night bathroom trips. You’re welcome. By morning my face no longer felt uncomfortable. It was more just an awareness that my face went through it last night, but no pain. My skin looks and feels good today. I did a cold-water rinse and applied some serum to start my day. I am very low maintenance these days on the morning routine. As I’m sitting here writing, my face is dewy to the touch. Skin tone just looks fresh and slightly rosy. I’m thinking there is something to this treatment.
The trauma is just a distant memory. Well…not so distant that I’m going to rush the recovery week before its time to do this whole process all over again. Also thinking I’ll wait a few more times before I revisit the idea of the apple cider vinegar thing…because…yeah…acidic. Going to continue these treatments weekly till I get to the bottom of the jars and then evaluate if my skin shows significant improvement over that time. I’m calling it a win now because I didn’t have any adverse reactions and my skin feels good and my husband says it looks good too. Apparently, rolling hundreds of pins over your face isn’t as dumb as it sounds…
Welp where to begin …I’m all in for your me time initiative…however not sure I would enjoy rolling face needles and smelly fishy green goop ?….lol but glad it worked out for you ?
Noooo…you’d probably not enjoy the whole needle roller thing. But I do use these jade and rose quartz rollers you’d probably like better. They are really smooth and nice to roll over your face. It came with a Gua Sha stone too, which I like, but I think I need to learn more technique for using properly. Plus I keep them in the fridge so they are nice and cold.
This post made me laugh out loud…several times! Love the story and glad it worked out in the end. Curious to try it now…I THINK NOT…lol
I feel your amusement is driven by my pain ? Next crazy idea YOU get to be the test subject…??
Great post! Had me hooked through the whole post and has me I trigued to try 600 tiny needles across my face. Thanks for the laugh and the visual. You are beautiful.
? Thank you! It really does seem to have had a good effect on my skin. Three days out and my skin still feels soft…not sure if that is more the stinky mask or the self inflicted wounds ?
I have been doing it for 2 years live it!!! I offered it to you at the time you loiked at me with horrow lol. I also have another device will forward you pick when home ??
That is my go-to expression for most of the suggestions you make ????
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